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Day 2 Driven vs Drawn

I Have A Dream

I Have a Dream

I made an unexpected discovery at the first weekend at the Ankush Jain Coaching School, where I am currently engaged in a fantastic training programme. 

Ankush introduced us to an interesting exercise.

We talked about the difference between ‘feeling driven’ versus ‘feeling drawn’ to the things we do in life (see image).

We spent some time in smaller groups exploring our own relationship to these different ways of working, creating and being – driven versus drawn.

It was a lovely way of getting to know the other people on the training course. 

I realised that I accomplished most things in my life via the route of feeling intuitively drawn to them.

For example, my professional choice to train as a psychologist were inspired by a deeper calling to heal my childhood wounds and share my learning.

You may be familiar with the Jungian archetype of the ‘Wounded Healer’

The wounded healer part of me felt drawn to becoming a psychologist from the age of 17. 

As part of my postgraduate training in psychology & psychotherapy, I spent many years in individual & group psychotherapy,

which truly healed what needed to be understood, felt, processed, loved, integrated, and transformed. 

The real perk of growing ourselves up & healing our wounds is that it adds richness, depths, liveliness,

light-heartedness, creativity, and self-worth to our being.

It opens us up and allows us to feel life again fully – it’s many opportunities and challenges. 

For me, some of these gifts have mainly emerged in the second half of life.

In the first half, I predominantly inhabited an inner world of struggle, stress, feeling driven and not good enough. 

This is not uncommon. 

Sometimes I feel sad because I would have loved to have felt more carefree, light-hearted, and secure in my younger years too. 

But this is real life, right? There are and will be losses along the way. 

When I was younger, I simply didn’t know how to take the scenic and authentic route.

I was driven by a relentless and harsh ‘Inner Judge’ -another archetype. Luckily,

I have now firmly managed to retire and rewire my ‘Inner Judge’. 

Thank you for bearing with me, back to the coaching school and my dream. 

In the process of engaging in the ‘Driven versus Drawn Exercise’ – a surprising image came up when I asked

‘What do I feel drawn to now?’ 

A women’s retreat!  Wow! This had not occurred to me before – ever. 

On further reflection and clarification, my dream is to create a retreat for gifted, deep, sensitive, and creative women. 

Most women have these qualities.

A space for connecting deeply and authentically, a space for feeling & healing,

for supporting and sharing our struggles, and celebrating our victories. 

After the training weekend in London, I gave this insight space to breathe. I held it in my mind and allowed it to slowly wake up.

I nurtured it every day with curiosity and a warm feeling of inspiration and possibility. This allowed me to clarify it.

Amir Karkouti describes this process so well in his book ‘Lessons from My Coach’. 

He beautifully talks about protecting our insights from the naysayers,

the fast-paced life and from our own mind that often wants to speed up to find the next best thing. 

I have become the gardener of my insight about the women’s retreat. 

I will continue to cultivate it like a beautiful flower from seed to bloom. 

What is your Dream that wants to be nurtured into being?

It is important to share our dreams and passions with the right people and speak them into Being.

Here are a few ideas & steps to nurture your dreams and visions and make them real. 

  • Ask yourself what are you feeling drawn to? 
  • Slow down, sit quietly and see what comes up. Let a feeling, a thought, an image come to you. 
  • Once you have found one -feel it and cultivate it. Give your insight space to breathe – this may take days, weeks, and maybe months. 
  • Slowly wake your insight up and nurture it. 
  • Protect your dream from the naysayers, the fast-paced life and from your own doubtful and fast-moving mind.
  • When the time is right, ask yourself ‘What action/s can I take to make my wish/ dream come true?’ 
  • One step at a time.

If you would like to arrange a conversation about your dreams & visions and how to nurture them into being, please feel free to get in touch. I will be happy to set aside some time for a conversation with you – no cost, no strings attached or obligation beyond. 

With Heartfelt Wishes to You,

Kirsten Heynisch

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